Yesterday our pastor preached about friends specifically lovers. Some of you may say, "Why did he talk about that in church?" Well, because God has some specific things to say about committed relationships in the bible. The book of the Bible he specifically focused on was The Song of Solomon. I won't go into details about the sermon but he did make reference to the top 5 things that men and women want from a committed relationship. I can't remember the author's first name but his last name was Haley. The list was very interesting to me and as he said you may find things on the men's list that apply better to your relationship and vice versa, but I would say that this guy pretty much hit the nail on the head. Here's the lists.
His Needs
1. Sexual Fulfillment (Does that surprise anyone?)
2. Recreational Companionship
3. Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration
Her Needs
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Support
5. Family Commitment
Just thought I would post this because it really made me think if I have been meeting the needs of my husband lately. It's easy to forget about your relationship with your spouse when you are sooooo busy taking care of your kids especially one with special needs. It was very ironic that he and I were having a conversation about how we never have time for ourselves anymore. We never go out on any date nights anymore because everyone is too afraid to take care of Liliana because she has an NG tube. Then we go to church on Sunday and our pastor preached about this. We also talked about negativity in our relationship and that we need to support each other instead of tear each other down. It's all about making deposits in the bank of love/relationships instead of constantly making withdrawals. My challenge is to try and think before I speak and try to find ways to keep the spark in our relationship so we can be a strong couple and family. Let's face it...if Bill and I hadn't met there wouldn't have been any Gwyneth or Liliana and we love them both very, very much! I'm thankful for that!
8 comments:
Thank you so much for posting this - definitely worth remembering.
Yep...life her revolves around the baby. Lily doesn't have an NG tube, but doesn't like to take a bottle from anyone but me. (I've created a monster...lol).
Thanks for the reminder that I need to think about Mark too!
FYI: One of the leading causes of divorce is having a child with special needs. You need to remember to keep your relationship with your spouse a top priority. it can be difficult, but it can be done. Just try and meet at least one need every day and that is a stip in the right direction.
Thanks for the post! Shawn and I find it hard to have a date night! Takes much more planning with Ali! But if you want I could watch Lily - I have evperience with NG tubes! lol!
Wow, sometimes we do forget that they NEED things too! I have a teen and a son who is 7 with Autism, I work, and go to school...sometimes my Hubby has to wait in line!
Talk about an "ah ha" moment. Between moving out-of-state, the special needs, and just life in general, finding time to make deposits is certainly a task that falls to the wayside. I absolutely need to work on thinking before speaking and acting as I routinely regret things said or done.
Oh, and have you looked into hiring a CNA to babysit? OR, even one of the nurses you became friends with at the clinic. As I've been interviewing people, I've come across quite a few CNAs w/ baby experience looking to make some extra cash. just a thought...
Thanks for posting this Kim. We all get so busy and stressed, and with kids, work, a house, etc, sometimes it's easy to forget the one you married! You should definitely treat yourselves to a sitter, even if it's only once in a while. It will be worth it and you both deserve it! And now, since we never get a sitter, I need to take my own advice!
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